MOM TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!”

MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION: “You better pray that will come out of that carpet!”

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t straighten up, I’ll knock you into next week!”

MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why!”

MOM TAUGHT ME FORESIGHT: “Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.”

MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY: “Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM: “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?”

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA: “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone!”

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER: “It looks like a tornado went through your room!”

MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS: “If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”

Keep Smiling, Pastor Larry